its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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