WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
