i just wanna soil my oats bro
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i came on her dog
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
