Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize