DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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