You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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