Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize