good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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