Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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