remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
