your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
