Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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