Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
