Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
