did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
