Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dicks are not precious.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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