Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
This girl is more easily done than said...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
