I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize