But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
