i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I currently don't understand fingers.
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