I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
