Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i dont even know how to be here
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
