We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
