I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
