her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
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I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
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is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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