Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Randomize
