Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
