i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My penis needs a shock collar
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize