Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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