hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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