Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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