Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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