He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Found the puke drawer
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
