You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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