I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
