You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
