I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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