..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
