I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
