How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
