Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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