My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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