If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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