Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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