he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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