tell your sister to shave her snatch
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
