If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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