Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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