All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize