Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
