PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
