i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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