i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
