Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Someone shit on the floor
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
