if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
