Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
