Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
