Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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