come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
