Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
