Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
