Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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