Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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