is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
