i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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