in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?