Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
