chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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